AND WE’RE BACK NOW WITH 80% MORE SHITTY GIFS AND ASPIRATION MONIKER TITLE CARD

lmao i can’t stop laughing at eridan sorry fish jokes are bad
fuck equius’s surname name is spelt wrong shit i just realized that ok w/e i’ll fix it with SimPE im a bad fan i know one day ill learn to spell
BUT YES NOW YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE HOW DISCONTENT THESE GUYS ARE WITH THEIR PATHETIC FILTHY POKER WASTED LIVES.
AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED ON DERSE
DERSE SEMESTER 2
So remember where we left off? Exams just finished and yeah arm kissing or whatever it was last time, I load the lot and Rose and Eridan are now on to face caressing

ok whatever sails your ship i guess
tho apparently the ship isn’t being sailed cause the moment Rose diverts her attention

this guy goes back to worrying about his love life i mean dude you got the girl in 3 days what more do you even fuccfing want
(were going to find out this chapter dont worry)
anyway speaking of ~attention diversion~ our kids get straight to it and engage themselves in a variety of their usual activities

one day you’ll be a star dave one day keep at that

equius actually autonomously studies omg i didn’t think they’d do that though maybe he caught on to how fucking close they came last semester

eridan r u creepstalking rose or doing that for legitimate reasons i don’t know anymore

…and NEPETA DECIDES TO TAKE THE SEAT AS RESIDENT POEKER DUNCE FOR THE SEMESTER.
as poker tradition will have it she spends all fucking day doing that and alas here’s how day three ends for her:

good form nepeta, good form.
Speaking of shapely form say hi to feferi’s underwear i hope you get used to that she won’t change out of it after bed and goes to class in that yeah ok showers are the only way in which she’ll change back to her normal clothes so yeah just be mindful of that i guess holy shit this household
anyway switching moods to extreme angst and tragedy for a moment: nepeta isn’t the only one down for the count. remember rambunctious crow? and how i told you not to get attached because the inevitable was coming
well yeah

RIP bro im sorry you never scored i even broke my no commands rule and kept you fed
fucking birds
So between mourning our dearly departed and a few of the crew catching up on missed sleep from the previous “cramtastic fantastic” night, bedtimes are a bit staggered this time round and we’ve got people up at odd times and random shit happens all through night three:

autonomous shower cleaning is pretty cute i guess wow hi aradia’s butt ~i missed you by the way~
also this call comes through at two in the fucking morning:

wait what llama what do we even know you ok
w/e equius is up though and answers his llama pal’s call
~he’s not the only one awake around here though~ oh for the love of fjucking-

D—> 100d
yeah okay let’s just
cut to morning

hi i’m sure there’s better places to talk for three hours than the toilet doorway but i’m just a voyeur what do i know
THREE HOURS LATER
WE’RE BACK LIVE FROM THE LIVING ROOM HERE AT SOLLUX & DAVE: POINTLESS STRIFE: ROUND 353550467340673

so i didn’t actually see this one end (i later learned that dave lost) (again)
but who gives a shit cause hold on to your horses it’s about to get jersey fucking shore up in here:

yeah who knows what part he touched this time all i know is rose is at class and this is going to end badly you manwhore
the sim gods (no wait thats me) the stars are with us tho cause at that moment the camera is dragged away from such filthy displays so we can witness aradia become our first toilet victim

holy hell what happened to your mood girl the fuck have you been doing my poor bb ur the star of my show but take care of yourself
well at least she had the decency to piss herself (in rose’s room, but) in private so this way nobody is going to spend the rest of their pathetic sim life gossiping about it props to you aa
NOW LETS GET BACK TO THE SHORE YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

so when we’re done staring at solluxs CHOICE BUTT im going to ask these two if theyre ok but i guess they are
i mean they never stop this sloppy shit
it just continues until we hit love tier which is serious business for sims
and then

~CAUSE AS WITH EVERY SHIP
HATERS
GONNA
~
hi so anyway meanwhile this also happens thrice (he came for aradia too i didnt screencap it) (he being that hobby guy who breaks into your house when he somehow finds out about your ~enthusiasm~ for things and invites you to your den):

i really don’t know what’s worse the annoying npc trespass which i cant find a hack to stop or the fact that three of our household have wasted enough hours on this stupid game to warrant it
actually i do know whats worse
because there are simply no words for this:

:FSDAFHs;fsagfdgihsdlfhwrw35u3teG:SDGH
S:GHSD:AHFs
fsdgdsig
pROTIP: if youre going to fuck dont do it in the entrance hall
while cheating on another girl
while people are watching
but what do i know
just so you know th is was fucking creepier when i first zoomed in on it do not fucking click this i sTILL CANT ERIDAN PLS
and he doesn’t stop there look at this i dont know whether to laugh

(also woah fef moving a bit fucking fast what are you guys doing)
for those unfamiliar with this game woohoo is sex (~the more you know~)
but with that my children, night 4 ends and the sun rises on day 5
and finally on this triumphant day, dave stands victorious over his pointless arch nemesis

BUT HEY WHENEVER THIS HAPPENS NOBODY CARES FOR VERY LONG BECAUSE:

f;ashf eridan why-
yeah ok who am i kidding who didn’t see this coming
so i’m assuming eridan macked on nepeta in some form or another leading to the inevitable and what follows is the most simultaneously amusing and pathetic thing i have ever witnessed in this game
so rose slaps the bastard right

and then he slaps her back for no reason even though u instigated it you stupid hoe

pls
~but then~
rose makes like a sassy independent woman for the time being and walks off but

WWEEH WWHY DOESNT ANYBODY LOVVE ME
i don’t know bb
i just don’t know
and just when i’d seen the worst of this shitfuckery as soon as he finishes crying, this fucking guy-

im piss
but omg lmao

yeah thats my face too bb
me too
ANYWAY DAY FIVE PASSES WITH MOX COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUNNED BY THE DAY’S EVENTS I FAILED TO CAP OR REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE THAT REALLY HAPPENED i dont think there was anything else partciularly important and im too busy cry
and i’m not the only one
the drama’s getting too much for equius i guess

by which i mean the touching and sloppy romance shit is getting too much for him because what i guess is aradia’s (not you too bb) attempt to cheer him up is, for the good of us all, promptly rejected:

i guess the negative spirits are just in the air too though
since dave gets into aNOTHER FIGHT OMG (this time with nepeta) (he loses and it was fucking funny and i forgot to cap):

y’know i’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say it’s out of being a good brother to rose and not dave strider picking more fights for no fucking reason because you know this shit is spiralling downwards so fast we could use some optimism in here
anyway this ends with some weird (kismesis?) (no lets not fucking go there) reaction where nepeta is simultaneously seething and furious and crushing on the guy

he makes like a man and wont take this bullshit and just walks off though thanks dave kudos bro
and so ends day five, the day before our exam (yeah we have those) (yeah remarkably nobody missed class)
~AND BEFORE WE KNOW IT IT’S THE MORNING AND EXAMS ARE JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A SEMESTER COMES TO ITS END~

ft: feferi’s undies make a trip to her flipping fINAL EXAM oaky fef pls
doesn’t seem to hurt her grade though
fef and everybody else passes, on their own accord actually which is impressive on its own and on top of all the other crap they spent their time doing, i guess i should give them at least that (omg rose looks so sad tho) (hi equius really likes the aradia butt i wont complain i do too)

~LIKE SAND THROUGH THE HOURGLASS THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES~
so in closing with an extra want slot each and raging hormones like never before WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR MY DERSITES i’d say find out next time but not completely
by which i mean
ok you can know a bit in advance
cause
HERE’S MY ATTEMPT to make this a little more ~interactive~ and celebrate the fact that this somehow got 25 followers. I’m gonna open it up to readers (you dont even have to be following this ok), to suggest commands to give the sims of Derse House. One each. Can be anything. I have no idea what the fuck I’ll do, maybe RNG the random suggestions, and I’ll take anything as long as it’s a possible interaction given the shit in this house (you can also ask me to buy an item ok as long as it’s in their budget which is like 2k simoleans right now). Anything at all.
Leave your ~SUGGESTIONS~ below!
EDIT: hi also bonus question (i’ll do one random relevant thing like this each time i guess! also there’ll be a general post on the genie lamp tomorrow but im tired to outline that now so it canwait) - so because this is a big want which will not autonomously be fulfilled, I’m going to ask the people who actually read this this: Should Sollux propose to Feferi? hi i don’t know whatll happen if we try that but UP TO YOU - should these misfits give it a shot???????